It's the small things that really count

Jess's Thoughts
 I know we haven't posted in awhile. Life happens. :) But if anyone is still reading I would like to say that it is the small things that really count in a relationship. Guys keep in mind that a small act of kindness can mean the world to your girlfriend. Here are some small acts of kindness you can do that will earn you so some serious points with your girlfriend. Remember not to do them to get something out of it but do them out of love!

1. Open the door for her. (car door, any other door)
2. Send her/Give her flowers.
3. Leave a cute, unexpected note somewhere she will eventually notice as a surprise. 
4. Surprise her with a date night.
5. Let her pick any chick flick she wants to watch and watch it with her.
6. Hold her tight and tell her how much you love her. 
7. Tell her she's beautiful.
8. Show up when meeting up with her with her favorite smoothie/frappuccino. 
9. Make her feel like you're actually listening when she's talking to you. 
10. Put your arm around her, hold her hand, even in front of your friends. 

When you say you're going to call CALL!!

Jess's Thoughts
I know I've already had at least one entry about this but it needs to be reiterated. If you say you're going to call your girlfriend when you get home from somewhere or at a certain time, DO IT. Seriously. And your excuse for why you don't want to shouldn't be that your favorite movie or shows on tv. Get over it. It's your girlfriend and when you tell her you don't want to call her because of something as insignificant as a movie or a tv show you are telling her that the movie or tv show is more important to you than she is. I'm pretty sure your girlfriend would much rather talk to you than watch her favorite movie or show so seriously just do what you said you would do. Make her feel special, like she is the bright spot of your day, not that a tv show is better than her..

When you say you're going to do something do it

Jess' Thoughts

You don't have to always go out of your way to do these crazy nice things for your girlfriend but if you tell her you're going to do something such as call her that night or text or hang out with her then you need to follow through. For example if you told her you were going to call her that night and you tell her that instead of calling her you are going to watch sports or play video games or do something else that is of little importance then you are being a douche bag and you are not being considerate of your girlfriend's feelings. You're basically telling her that watching sports or playing video games or whatever is more important to you than her. So before you say you're going to do something make sure you actually want to do it.. Seriously.

Shelby's Thoughts
Agreed. This is really not a difficult concept, so I'll keep it short. If you say you'll do it, it becomes a big deal to her. If you can't do it, don't say you'll do it. Saying you'll do something and not doing it is bad. It causes her to have less trust in you...and do you really want that?

She shouldn't have to ask.

Shelby's Thoughts:
Here's a hint: She wants you to call her. She wants you to talk to her more and take her places and buy her things and send her "good morning" texts and give her compliments and all that. She loves it. But she doesn't want to have to ask for it. It's pretty much unacceptable that you don't call her just to talk to her (especially when you haven't seen her in a while and won't be able to for a while) unless she asks you to. But she shouldn't have to ask. She doesn't want to ask. She wants to talk to you on a regular basis, but she wants it to be because you actually want to talk to her. Having to ask for it makes her feel like crap, and it makes her feel like you don't really care enough about her to think of calling her. You're not that busy. You could spare some time to call her. Just do it, and do it without her having to ask you to.

Jess' thoughts:
Agreed. Your girlfriend wants to feel like you look forward to talking to her and that she is the bright spot in your day. She wants to feel like you think about her and she is not going to feel like that if you never call her. It makes sense if you don't call her that often because you are together everyday at school or hanging out, but if you are long distance or just don't have a chance to see each other that often then show her you care by calling her. She wants to feel like you want to talk to her and if you don't call her she will maybe ask for you to call her or call you which will make her doubt if you wanted to talk to her in the first place. She doesn't want to have to ask you to talk to her. She wants you to do it because you want to.. and if you don't why are you dating her anyway?

:)

Jess' Thoughts

When you and your girlfriend are texting or messaging, she would appreciate it if you put thought into the messages. If you only send a smiley face in response to, well, anything, chances are she won't be smiling when she receives your message. Same goes for "haha", "lol", and "k", or anything else involving a very small amount of writing or thinking on your part. If you and your girlfriend are texting back and forth really quickly, it is not entirely bad to once in a while respond with a short message. However, if it takes you more than five minutes to respond, and you send her a message that took no thought at all, it would have been better if you had sent nothing all, because there is a high chance she will be bothered by it. So really. Just try to put some thought into your messages. It really does show you care.



Shelby's Thoughts
Once again. I agree. There is almost nothing worse than trying to have a conversation via text with a guy I care about, sending him a two-page message, and having him respond with something super lame. It makes a girl not want to respond at all, or to start reciprocating your seemingly apathetic text messages. You may have not meant anything by it. You may have been busy, or trying not to be clingy, or whatever. Regardless, she will still usually interpret it as you not caring enough to put more effort into your messages. If you want to keep a girl happy, just send something that shows that you put some thought into it, or, at the very least, something to which a response is more easily made. Think about it. What do you even say to, "k" or ":)" or something of that nature? No girl wants a conversation that looks like this with the person they care about.

Girl: I'm really excited to hang out with you. I missed you so much!
Guy: Me too.
Girl: When we hang out, we can do fun stuff that we never do. Like we could go to the park and just chill or something, or we could go play mini golf, or we could do something other than movie watching. I'm so excited! Maybe afterwards we could do some other fun stuff together.
Guy: :) Yeah.

Honestly. You could improve her mood, and your relationship by just writing a little more.

If She is Crying, You Did Something Wrong

Jess' Thoughts
9.999 times out of 10: If you're with your girlfriend, and you upset her, and she starts crying, it means you did something wrong. Some guys like to get defensive and spend a stupid amount of time trying to say how they didn't even do anything. Some guys get angry when their girlfriends cry because they don't understand what to do, since most guys don't express their emotion and therefore don't understand why girls express emotion in the form of tears. If your girlfriend is crying and she says you upset her, it does not matter if you think she should not be crying or if you feel you did not do anything wrong. Just tell her you care about her/love her and that you're sorry for hurting her  feelings, and then hug her. That's all there is to it, folks. If you do what I just said then the issue usually ends in like 3 minutes but if you try to defend yourself then the issue could last all night.

Shelby's Thoughts
Agreed. Not to hate on the guy population, but you guys can be pretty clueless. Of course you're not going to notice when something small upsets her, because you are less sensitive, and, quite frankly, just don't understand girls. No matter what it was, it will make your life so much easier if you just apologize right away. I'm not saying to be a doormat. If this happens frequently, and you honestly cannot even see what you did wrong, consider ending the relationship. But, sometimes, we freak out over small things, and that's when we need you to be supportive, not argumentative and defensive. Usually, it's a result of us holding in our anger at the small things you've done over time, and sometimes, certain things you do or don't do can just be the last straw for us. When you argue with an angry girl, you'll do nothing but fuel her anger for hours, days, or even weeks, if it's something that significant. However, if you simply apologize and promise that you'll try to never do it again, the issue can be resolved in a matter of minutes.

Me too

Jess' Thoughts

This entry is about about a saying girls absolutely hate when used to reciprocate a comment. For example, if the girl you are dating or are thinking about dating says "I really like you." and you say "me too", then there are going to be some problems. Through my dating life, I have had guys say this type of thing all the time, and to be honest, it is just obnoxious. Once I told my ex boyfriend that I missed him and he said I miss me too. It's just dumb. If you like/love a girl, understand that when she says "I like you", "I love you", or "I miss you" that the best thing for you to do is to reciprocate it and not just say "Me too." Also when being told "I loved talking on the phone with you tonight." and you say "Me too." You are basically saying that you also loved talking to yourself on the phone. Just know that the best thing for you to do is to say that you also enjoyed the phone conversation instead of making yourself seem schizophrenic. 

Shelby's Thoughts
So true. The other day, I was talking to a guy with whom I'm currently enduring a long-distance thing. I was just being all sweet and cute, since we hardly get a chance to talk anymore (my mother cancelled my texting). I said, "I like you!" and he said something along the lines of, "Good. Because I like being liked." Seriously? No matter how secure a girl is in her relationship, she still wants to hear that you like her too. She said it for a reason, and it was most likely not solely to make you feel good about yourself. Now, is it really that difficult to give her a simple, "I like you too" or "I like you more", or something like that? No, it's not. You may think you're being cute/funny/amusing by telling her that you liked being liked, or that you miss yourself, or that you liked talking to yourself on the phone as much as she did. You're not. You're being obnoxious, and, though she may not say so, it's not what she wants to hear from the guy she cares about. If you'd like for her not to harbor secret resentment towards you, and if you would like to remain as the object of her affection, just suck it up and return the favor of her kind words of affirmation.

Jessica's Intro

Hey I'm Jessica. I'm 19 and I go to Liberty University. I am the co-author of this blog. The purpose of this blog is to help shed some light to the male population on how girls should be treated. After being in the dating game a few years now, I have come across some common ways guys can unintentionally treat girls badly without even realizing it. This blog is here to help guys know how to treat girls from a girl's perspective. :)

Shelby's Introductory Post

Hi, I'm Shelby, and I'm responsible for some of the posts in this blog. Things you should know about me:
1) I'm extremely picky.
2) I'm very opinionated.
3) I'll tell you the truth, even if you don't want to hear it.
4) I don't think guys suck in general, I just think they're rather dense and sometimes need help.
5) I think girls can be stupid, too.

That's really it.